Fact Sheets > Healing a Broken Relationship

Healing a Broken Relationship

Often, after a relationship break-off, we are left shattered, our self-esteem almost touching ground zero but life still has to go on. We are back to dolling ourselves up, and feverishly wishing we will meet that special someone smiling at us at the bus-stop today. Unfortunately, not everyone has the courage and strength to pick up the pieces, not to mention to even doll themselves up and wish for the next guy to come along. A handful will dwell on the past and wish and hope that the ex will ring and apologise and request for a patch up.

Each relationship propels you toward your next phase of learning and personal growth, whether that relationship works out. A failed relationship in fact provides more learning experiences as success comes after we learned not to make the same mistake and a series of failure serves to remind us not to take things for granted. Sometimes we hear this phase from highly successful and prestige people “I wouldn’t have achieve so much success if not for that failed relationship which pushed me to work hard for my career and in the process meet my present spouse”.

Top 10 Tips to Surviving Those Gloomy Days Immediately After

1. Acknowledge, without blame, you part in the break-up of the relationship. No matter who initiated the break-up, both are at fault when the relationship did not work out.

2. Look forward to the future and forget the past. We frequently find ourselves dwelling in the past, our thoughts consumed with memories of days spent with that person. You will begin to heal when you start thinking about the future and write down your action plan for the future.

3. Every relationship propels you to achieve the next phase of self-potential, that is, it enhances your personal growth.

4. Acknowledge that you have learned something new from that relationship. Honour that person for guiding you through that journey.

5. Take the time to write down what you have learned from this relationship. This list will serve as a reference in future, and prove to you that you have not wasted your time on this relationship.

6. Learn from past experience. Stay awake in all your relationships so that you won’t repeat the same mistakes.

7. Call your girlfriends and have an all girls night out, re-decorate your room, indulge in all your favourite food. Do everything except to call your ex.

8. Venture into new and different territories. Enrol in that photography class that you have always been interested in.

9. Give yourself time to heal. If you rush into the next relationship, it is very likely that you will end up in another broken relationship. Rushing into a new relationship will increase the chance of you comparing the new person to your ex, or you may be acting out your hurts and angry thoughts that can crush the chance of making this new relationship work.

10. It is important not to move too fast in your new relationship. Advancing too quickly will cause you to get lost in the relationship and may result in making those same mistakes.